Lehal Library

With the heavy emphasis on sexual arousal and the myth of romance, it is no surprise that so many claim to experience what we may call the Big L in their relationships. Not so. The only way you can obtain it is through shared life experience, and even then there is no guarantee. On the other hand it will grow on you. You don’t have to work at it, despite what the books say. Time is not a vital factor. The deeper, more intense the shared experience, the less time it takes. Other attractions are not necessarily destructive or valueless but they do fall into another category. The difference is that the Big L is indestructible and eternal, and never dependent on local habits and customs. Friendship, for example, might be construed as a shadow of the Big L, or at least a kissing cousin. The greatest problem lies in misidentification. We become entrapped into believing we have found the Big L, often with disastrous results, when the ideal is not adhered to by the “loved” one.