My Library

They merely reflect that the president and some members of the ASPR board wanted things to go well, but that the ASPR was a mess internally, a hotbed of intrigues, stupidity and, alas, some hatreds that were not too well concealed. I had no idea of how to surmount any of this, for even though I could throw my newfound weight around a little, like Janet I had no "authority." In fact, it was quite difficult to discover who DID have "authority." It seemed no one was in charge. It seemed everything at the ASPR was done via covert manipulating -- liberally laced with various idiocies. So with the two letters in hand, I went to Dr. Jan Ehrenwald, himself a trustee of the ASPR, and one of the greatest realists I’ve ever known. Mrs. Ehrenwald had prepared a delightful European lunch and we talked for about two hours. In his ultra-tactful way, Ehrenwald pointed out, among other insights, that I was the problem -- something I’d not quite realized, of course. He permitted himself a small smile. "You’ve tripped across something most people prefer not to acknowledge. You see, on the one hand the world fears ESP and Psi, most certainly any real evidence of it. On the other hand, you don’t." I didn’t completely understand this, so he gave me a draft paper he had written on the phenomenology of fear -- and which, unfortunately, I’ve lost by now. But I remember most of its contents quite well -- major amongst which were Ehrenwald’s two hypotheses: (1) that fear is the greatest disruptor of all things big or small; (2) that fear rules all things if not in one way then in another.