Lehal Library

my black void so as not to distract them! At first I was annoyed at this. How dare they influence my experiences! How dare their sexual energy have that much control over me! I still marvel at how powerful thoughts are, and three men’s directed at me was overwhelming. At the same time I felt somewhat naïve for not having picked up the signs earlier, but I was much too wrapped up in how the workshop was changing me to fully get into what others were thinking. “But this was not the end.… I transformed my annoyance at being used as a ‘sex object,’ even if only consciously projected, and started wondering what growth could be gained from this experience. It started me thinking along other lines and what was to follow would change the course of my life. “And it happened simply because I asked the divine forces in all sincerity for me to be able to experience spiritual love. I asked not for me to be the recipient of it but that I might learn how to give to others to my fullest ability. My request was granted: “As I went into the next tape I kept that thought in mind—I wanted to feel what it would be like to feel a part of the love in the universe, to in a sense actually be making love to a part of me, a part of everyone. I left my own CHEC Unit at that point (nonphysically; OOBE) and felt an urge to visit my other Gateway participants. Straying into one room, I called softly to one of the people. He seemed taken aback to see me and I told him not to be alarmed, that I was only there to send him love and then left after blowing him a quick goodbye kiss. (Later this person recalled that he heard a soft voice in his ear calling his name. He said that he had felt a surge of love upon hearing it but wasn’t sure where it came from.) “Then quite unexpectedly I was suddenly drawn by a powerful force to one room in particular—to one CHEC Unit in particular. It took me by total surprise, for the man in that unit was someone I didn’t know very well. In fact, he was the only one at the workshop I had never really had a chance to talk to. He was a young, goodlooking psychologist, yet for some reason we seemed to be purposely avoiding each other.