Lehal Library

crash face first onto the lawn. At that instant I’m back in my physical body. My physical sensations return and I wonder why I lost control. Why did I become so heavy? Journal Entry, November 2, 1972 I awaken to the sound and sensations of intense buzzing. It feels as if my body and mind are vibrating apart. At first I’m startled by the intensity of the vibrations, but slowly I calm myself and focus my full attention on the idea of floating away from my physical body. In seconds I float up and out of my body and hover several feet above it. I notice that the buzzing noise and vibrations immediately subside after complete separation. The sound and vibrations are replaced by a serene feeling of calm. It feels as if I’m weightless and floating like a cloud. I think of moving to the door and I seem to automatically float to that destination. I feel an overwhelming sense of freedom I’ve never known before. Spontaneously I decide to fly and think about flying through the roof. Instantly I fly straight up through the ceiling and pass through the roof like a rocket. I’m thrilled by the response and begin to understand that my thoughts are the energy of my personal propulsion. I spread my arms and level off several hundred feet in the air. Below me I can clearly see the buildings and roads of my neighborhood. I feel a slight tugging sensation as I fly higher and higher over the city of Baltimore. The tugging sensation increases and I think of my body. Instantly, I snap back to my body. My physical body is numb and tingling as I open my eyes. As my out-of-body experiences continued, I became fascinated with the non-physical energy structures I observed. With each experience my questions seemed to grow until I became obsessed with trying to understand the nature of the non-physical forms that I had encountered. In an attempt to comprehend the relationship between the physical and non-physical environments, I developed a series of crude experiments. For example, every day I would balance a pencil or pen at the very edge of my nightstand. My purpose was to see if I could somehow move the physical object with my non-physical body. I quickly discovered that this simple experiment was more difficult than it appeared. My biggest obstacle was attempting to focus on my experiment. At the moment of separation my mind would race with unlimited possibilities, and my experiment seemed insignificant compared with the many wonders that were available. Each experience increased my realization that my non-physical state of consciousness was extremely sensitive and responsive to the slightest thought. My prevailing conscious and subconscious thoughts would instantly propel me in a specific direction. I quickly learned that my subconscious mind exerts much more influence and control over my actions than I ever imagined. Often, a completely spontaneous thought would create an immediate reaction. For example, if I thought about flying, which I often did, I would immediately fly through the ceiling or wall and glide over my neighborhood. Gradually, I realized that gaining full conscious control during the first seconds after separation was absolutely essential. To accomplish this I experimented with different ways to gain control. At first I tried focusing my full attention on my hand or arm just after separation. I hoped that this would concentrate my thoughts on a single idea and give me the immediate control that I was seeking. This created a strange sensation of being immersed within myself. Though exhilarating, the end result was not control but a feeling of being mesmerized and then drawn into a sparkling universe of brilliant blue stars. Unhappy with the results, I decided to try grabbing my non-physical arm and focusing on the sensations of my grip. I was somewhat surprised to discover that the feel of my non-physical arm was amazingly solid. My non-physical body possessed an inherent vibrational quality; it felt completely solid, but I could feel the mild vibrational energy of my arm’s substance. I quickly discovered that my energy-body was indeed “real” in every respect, appearing to be an exact duplicate of my physical body. I also found that when my thoughts were focused on my non-physical body I began to feel myself drawn inward, as if I were being pulled into a vacuum deep inside myself. Over a period of several months I repeated this procedure of self-examination, and through trial and error I learned about my non-physical body. With repeated observations I began to realize that my non-physical form was like an energy mold— in effect, conscious energy that had assumed a temporary form. The body I experienced when out-of-body appeared to be the result of my mind’s expectations and self-concept. In addition, I recognized that focusing on my non-physical body created a strong tendency for me to be drawn inward to areas I could not begin to comprehend. I knew that I needed another method for gaining conscious control. After almost a year I was becoming frustrated by numerous failed attempts to gain full control when I finally discovered that I was making this entire process more involved than it needed to be. During an afternoon out-of-body experience, I spontaneously shouted, “Control now!” Immediately I felt an enhancement of my analytical mind. As I stood by the foot of my bed, my vision improved but remained slightly out-of-focus, so I shouted, “Clarity now!” My vision instantly snapped into focus. I felt a rush of energy and awareness flow through my body and mind. I was thrilled. For the first time I felt in complete control: my entire self-awareness was present, and I actually felt more aware than in my normal physical state of consciousness. My thoughts were crystal clear and vibrantly alive. I suddenly realized that the key to control was simply to demand full conscious control immediately after separation. I also began to understand the importance of focusing my thoughts and the need to be extremely specific when making requests. On one occasion, just after separation, I said aloud, “I request full waking consciousness,” and instantly snapped back into my physical body. I found that the controlling portion of my mind takes my thoughts literally. My poor choice of the word waking was immediately interpreted to mean physical waking. After several months of experimenting with different phrases, I began to recognize that I had unintentionally programmed myself to think “control” during each out-ofbody experience. I soon discovered myself doing it automatically as I floated up and away from my body. After a year of trial and error, I knew I was finally on the right track. Throughout this period I continued my pencil experiments. During several out-of-body experiences, I tried to move the pencil balanced on the nightstand and was surprised to find that the vibrational frequency (density) of my non-physical body seemed to determine whether the pencil or even the entire room was visible to me. Slowly I came to understand that the environment I was observing was not the physical world, as I had assumed. I realized that the structures I normally observed when out-of-body were non-physical structures. Gradually, it all started to fit together. Now I finally understood 4