My Library

I was very dismayed regarding two factors, though. For one thing, since July 1971 I had put on nearly thirty-five pounds, mostly around my middle and my face. Where I had been slender before, I was now suddenly getting FAT, and this made a problem of fitting into clothes. The very many parties and dinners I was invited to probably had something to do with this. But I felt that there were obvious and hidden stresses in doing this kind of work -- of having to try to succeed, and of fearing failure. But second, except for the long-distance few of the experiments were very challenging any longer. Even if I had staying power, I was very much aware that boredom and psi perceiving don't go together too well -- and that many past parapsychology experiments had dwindled into extinction because of this. I voiced this boredom, my fear of failing because of boredom, to Dr. Schmeidler, Dr. Osis, in fact to almost everyone. Buell Mullen Central, and even Zelda, noted that parapsychology was known for creating boring experiments that had nothing to do with real life. I felt that if our species possessed psi faculties, they must have been "designed" for real life functioning, not for repetitive testing on artificial targets.