My Library

coming back to help you just as soon as I can … I’m coming back somehow …) I indicated a man who looked to be in his sixties, pacing back and forth rapidly, pounding his fist in the palm of his other hand … BB refocused … (Damn, damn, damn! Just when I had it all set up to go out and enjoy myself. Damn! Now she’ll spend it all on clothes and trips everywhere and I’m left out. Got to get back somehow, got to get what’s coming to me. Damn! Damn! …) We turned in the direction of a man who appeared to be sitting down, indeterminate age, slowly shaking his head from side to side, staring blindly … (Never got a chance to tell her I didn’t mean to beat her up. I was drunk, I was drunk, that’s all. What a hell of a note. What am I going to do now? I knew that turn in the road was coming … There’s got to be something I can do …) A thin young girl in blue jeans attracted our attention. Hands on her hips, she was looking around defiantly … (Shit! Is that all there is to dying! I don’t see any God or angels … I knew it, knew it! Shit!) We moved carefully around the various animate human forms, singled out another, a man of middle age, gray-haired, standing and looking at the haze, arms folded … (Well, I did the best I could. Left them money in the bank, house in good shape, insurance will take care of the mortgage. Right front tire on the station wagon needs replacing. Hope Ben will take care of the contract on the Holmes deal. Company is going to miss me. Would have enjoyed one more dinner at Luigi’s, never get seafood like that again …) BB swung to me. (He’s closed up tight. We can’t reach him?) I plied. (Go ahead and try.) He moved directly in front of the man, tossing small rotes at the man’s face. Each time, the man waved his hand as if he were brushing a persistent fly off his nose. Other than that, there was no response. BB finally gave up and followed as I turned and moved outward through the haze of the ring. It was hard for me to accept now that I had once been as deeply focused in HTSI, but I was sure it was so. If my rote of it was there, it was deeply covered over. I like to think I released it, of course.