My Library

generated by all organic life in varying degrees of purity, the clearest and most potent coming from humans—engendered by human activity which triggers emotion, the highest of such emotions being— love? Is love loosh? (Continue, Ashaneen.) But according to the rote, loosh is thrown off when life ends its physical existence, when pain occurs, anger, hate … these can’t be the same as love. (How would you define love in your terms?) I knew that would be next in the order of things, and I couldn’t come up with an answer. Throughout history, great minds and greater philosophers had given it a try, with only partial success, and I was none of these. I wouldn’t even consider trying. (But you know it exists. Love is not an illusion.) I released the loosh rote and turned deeply inward, scanning. It was easier from this perspective, or perhaps it was the presence of the INSPEC energy. It presented itself much as a simultaneous mixture and sequence of musical chords and short melodies, only it wasn’t sound, it was patterns in colors of light. Scattered among the clutter of harmony, dissonance, discord, excitement, fun, fear, and emotion, and beginning shortly after birth, I had the percept of occasional surges of white … first from my mother and father, then smaller flashes I was unable to identify as to source. I kept scanning through my early years for any slight glimmer of white originating in me, that I put forth. To my dismay, all I could find was one small white glow for an Airedale dog named Pete. I was certain that the girl in high school, what was her name?… not even a flicker, either way. (Most common misconception, early-manifested survival drive.) I agreed. Yet I could understand why. The bright red and pink chords and urgent melody were impressive even from this viewpoint; no wonder an ignorant curl such as I was would come up with the wrong percept. I went on through the mess that was I in a fastforward mode, and I could spot sure and solid white surges here and there of which I had then been unaware, and their reality depressed and saddened me—because I found no significant emission from me