My Library

moved close to the watch on the night table, and could see by the luminous dial that it was two thirty-five. I remembered that I was closest to the night table, and floated over, went down, rotated, and was back "in." I sat up physically, and the room was quiet, dark, and empty. I looked at the watch on the night table. The time was about two thirty-eight. 10/27/60 Night Went to bed tired, late, around 1:30 A.M., and mentally set myself to have no "activities." Just as I started to sleep (no consciousness lapse in sequence, no separation from physical noticeable, but I did feel a sense of release just prior), I was attacked by something. It had no apparent personality, nor was I able to see it. However, I knew this one was incredibly vicious with an intent to "take" something that was mine which first required getting rid of "me" (not necessarily the physical "I," but the "I" who has the ability to act independently of the physical). This struggle was not like fending off an animal. It was a no-holds-barred affair, silent, terrifyingly fast, and with the other seeking out any weakness on my part. I did not fight back savagely at first, because I was bewildered. I merely tried to defend myself. However, the "thing" fighting me seemed to move from nerve center to nerve center, and some of the holds and pressures it applied were excruciating. I knew that if I did not fight back, I would lose, and losing seemed as vital as losing existence. I then started to fight back with equal intensity, savagely and with desperation. The thing fighting me knew every weak spot, and used them. We fought for what seemed like hours, and gradually I felt I might truly lose. I felt that this could not go on forever, and realized that I was somehow out of the physical. Still fighting, I steered the battle in the direction of my physical. When we were very close and directly over it, I dropped back "in." It was the only way I could think of to end the fight without losing. I opened my eyes (physically) and sat up. The room was quiet and empty. The bedclothes were undisturbed, so evidently there was no actual physical motion involved. My wife slept beside me undisturbed. I got up and walked around the room, looked in the hall. Everything appeared normal. It could have been a dream. If so, it was most vivid, and certainly did not follow the usual pattern of dreams that I have. (I have long come to recognize pure release-type dreams, which reflect the day's tensions or long-felt inner anxieties, which can be likened to multiple feedback or "monkey chatter.") The superimposure of the room perfectly as the background for the action plus conscious control of action tends to negate the dream concept.