My Library

beside the woman watching. I could sense every action of the "I" in the scene, every emotion. The men of authority told the "I" in the scene that he must perform certain harmful functions on the girl. He felt that he should not do this, and the girl pleaded with him not to. He turned back to the authorities, to avoid carrying out their orders. The authorities were very casual about the whole affair, especially the girl's tears. They stated that if he did not perform the function (religious?), others were arriving soon and they would do it instead. They added that it would be better for the girl if he performed this act instead of the others, that it would be less harmful to the girl. Reluctantly, the "I" in the scene turned and followed out the orders of the authorities. A few moments later, the woman led me out of the courtyard and we stood on the platform again. (I lost contact with the "I" in the scene the moment we turned away.) "Now do you understand?" she asked. I dazedly stated that I did not, and she looked at me steadily, rather sadly, and turned away. Not knowing what to do, I thought of the physical, took a long time getting back, and finally re-entered. I sat up and thought about this one for a long time. Who was the woman? What was the great secret? Looking at my own life history here, I am beginning to know. 8/18/61 Afternoon The hands and the book again. This time, in the office. Three in the afternoon, rainy, humid weather, if that has meaning. Vibrations were present, completely conscious and awake. I checked and tested by opening my physical eyes several times and looking at the clock. Time passage was as it felt it should be. Again, the hands placed the book before my closed eyes. The book was turned over, riffled, and held in many positions in very obvious movements to make sure I recognized it as a book. I thought of trying to see the title on the end of the book, and promptly the end was held for me to see, but the print was too small, or I was too myopic. Try as I might, I could not read it. Finally, I gave up, and the book was opened and I saw both printed pages. Again, I tried to read it, but it was just out of focus. Finally, I mentally suggested that I might be able to read it if I took one letter at a time. In response, a letter jumped out of a line and I just barely saw it as it flew by. I checked and rechecked carefully and laboriously, and got four words: "Evoke unhappy beings by ..." I tried and tried to read more, but evidently I